Same Pain, Different Time

On November 11, 1996, I was a 14 year old freshman in high school who was getting ready for school on a Monday morning. A bang on the door followed by my dad telling me to hurry up, get out of the shower, they were coming to get my mother. I froze and didn’t know what to do. I hurried as much as I could when I snapped out of it. Now, sixteen years later, I am still mourning over the loss of her. I miss her terribly and I truly hate cancer with every fiber of my being.

When my mother was but 13, she also lost her mother. However, she had just come home from school. Her mother, my grandmother, passed away in 1971 from a heart attack.

The course of events led me to write this poem. It is somewhat catharsis of my mother’s and my pain from the loss we each have endured.

Same Pain, Different Time
~Susan M. Reed
A time so long ago
You were in my shoes
You knew what I now know
Of what I had to lose

You came home from school
I was waking up to go there 
Two separate times equally cruel
We both yelled, “This isn’t fair!”

You knew how much I’d miss you
You knew how much my heart broke
The loss of a mother, you went through
As we stand behind our mourning cloak

I heard you cry in your deep sleep
And the prayer for her return
Years later, I am now the one to weep
And have that never-ending yearn

You protected me from so much 
You knew you couldn’t heal this wound
I won’t ever feel your motherly touch
It’s alright, though, because your love is abound

I feel you wherever I go 
Our bond is never completely gone
I cope the more I grow
And, with my mother’s love, I press on. 

Copyright Focal Breeze 2012

Happy Mother’s Day, mama. I wish you were here…always…

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