Death, Depression, Illness, Montgomery Clift, Sickness

Superficial Scars

When I was younger, I usually wouldn’t watch the normal things that other kids did. I typically would have the television on AMC and watch all the classic movies that came on. I liked old stars like Roddy McDowell, Douglas Fairbanks Jr and Sr, Cary Grant, Gary  Cooper, Frank Sinatra, James Dean, James, Cagney, and Montgomery Clift.

Montgomery Clift always stuck out to me for some reason. He was quiet, seemed humble, and didn’t act too flashy to me. He had this kind of aura about him that intrigued me the more of his films I watched. I began to research his life to maybe gain some better understanding of him. At one point during his career, he was the most sought after leading man and his voice was brilliant. He often played victim-hero types but each role he brought something unique.

Everything was going alright until he had a near-fatal car accident in 1956 that left his face scarred.

“On the evening of May 12, 1956, while filming Raintree County, Clift was involved in a serious auto accident when he smashed his car into a telephone pole after leaving a dinner party at the Beverly Hills home of his Raintree County co-star and close friend Elizabeth Taylor and her second husband, Michael Wilding. Alerted by friend Kevin McCarthy, who witnessed the accident, Taylor raced to Clift’s side, manually pulling a tooth out of his tongue as he had begun to choke on it. He suffered a broken jaw and nose, a fractured sinus, and several facial lacerations which required plastic surgery.[10] In a filmed interview, he later described how his nose could be snapped back into place.”

He never fully recovered emotionally nor physically from the scars that the accident left him. He tried to find reprieve and escape through pain killers and was allegedly addicted those as well as alcohol. Some say it was the “longest suicide in Hollywood history”.

“The autopsy report cited the cause of death as a heart attack brought on by “occlusive coronary artery disease.” No evidence was found that suggested foul play or suicide.”

*Block quotes taken from*

The accident that left him so scarred left him in a deep depression and I wish that he didn’t have to deal with so much of the crap that went along with it. He was always a beautiful soul to me and just because your left with scars from something horrible, doesn’t mean that you have to change.

I suppose that people in Hollywood put so much merit on the looks of someone and often times, more than not, they give people credit because of what they believe a pretty face should be. Montgomery Clift was always who he was, with or without the scars. The pressure of not being “perfect” got to him and years of abuse to his body eventually took its toll.

I hope that one day that we can truly and unconditionally see that it matters more of what’s inside a person’s heart than what they look like. I know he wasn’t perfect, none of us are truth be told, but we are all humans.

I wrote this poem about him and he will always be beautiful to me, flaws and all.

Dark Treasures

~By Focal Breeze

To know pain 
is to embrace the pleasure
what were you trying to gain
burying your darkest treasures

hurling yourself at the lasting fire
your life burns through my veins
sending me flying higher than a spire
your broken dreams are all that remains

endless loveless love 
that you try to attain
You’re oh so neglectful of 
the true love you could gain

To know pain 
is to embrace the pleasure
what were you trying to gain
burying your darkest treasures

Why don’t you just rise your head up
Get off your knees and look to the sun
Put that smile on your face
and don’t think of the past, boy

Oh boy get up off those knees 
Heed my advice 
Stand up tall and smile like I know you can
Oh for the love of God, all I ask is please

I see what you’re doing to yourself, love
and it hurts me to the core
to see all the poison running through your veins
So much heart and soul but you gotta get off this course

To know pain 
is to embrace the pleasure
what were you trying to gain
burying your darkest treasures

The early morning sun burned my eyes
The tears I cried last night made it worse
I knew you were going to breathe your last
Walked in your room with you flat on your back

Please, please tell me 
what were you trying to gain
burying your darkest treasures

The first movie I saw with him was From here to eternity. Inserted here is a clip from that movie:

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