In yesterday’s post, I wrote about my reality check and how I had a bit of a meltdown after a potential job turned me down. How I stayed up all night, just staring at the ceiling, and how my mind and anxiety got the better of me with thoughts of all the negative things that could possibly enter one’s mind.
The normal path that I would have taken, if I were to continue doing the same thing as I have the last 4 years, would be to close the windows and shut off my phone. I would sit in my apartment and stew about it.
That’s the path that I’ve been taking but, yesterday, I did something different.
I made a bit of a curve in my predictable path.
I was absolutely tired yesterday being that I hadn’t slept. I had a headache from the fiery depths of Hades. My back was killing me and I felt, well… rather like crap.
I had every reason not to keep going and to do what I always did. But what’s that old saying?
“If you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got?”
The important thing to remember is that if you want to make changes in your life (what I kept telling myself yesterday anyway), you have to show up and do the best you can.
So, that’s what I did.
There was a job fair yesterday about 30 minutes away from my little town. I didn’t have any of my resumes printed off nor did I have the ink in my printer. I didn’t have my hair done – in fact, I really need a haircut. I didn’t have a nice business suit.
I did have something though.
Quite a few things, actually.
I had ten dollars in my wallet so I could go to the library to print off 40 copies of my resume. I had a straightening iron and some makeup. I had clean clothes that would do just fine. And I had a full tank of gas and the desire to go against the straight line to take a different path.
So, instead of continuing to think of how everything could go wrong. That fear, that anxiety… I went.
I walked up to complete strangers, shook their hands, and passed out my resumes to people. I have a few potential job leads now and talked with absolute strangers.
I keep saying that… “strangers”.
In my mind, I was terrified and my heart kept racing but I did all I could to shove those doubts down.
When I got home, I was so tired and my body needed a rest but the amazing thing about yesterday was I felt particularly proud of myself. I put myself together and stepped out of my comfort zone, making small little shifts in my overall mindset.
I’m about five months into this journey and it’s not been easy. I’m certain that the easy way has gotten me nowhere.
Stepping out of that comfort zone, walking away from the straight path, is difficult but I really believe I can do it.
And I’m excited to see where this leads me.
I hope you all have a very good day and Happy Friday! Thank you so much for visiting. ❤
What have you guys got planned for the weekend?
With all my love,
For more on my journey in trying to overcome my anxiety and depression, check out these posts:
P.S. Song for Today 🙂