The sound of the clock in that quiet room,
How it resonated against those lonely walls.
Oh, How the ending that I felt coming did loom –
No matter how loud my heartbeat would call…
Wanting, wishing, hoping for us to last forever –
Some way to keep promises that we both made.
The bonds that we once held now severed,
And here is how the cards of fate must be played.
It would be much more simple to say who’s to blame,
Deflecting the guilt to something or another person.
Perhaps I should curse and swear against your name?
I won’t do that and cause what we’re going through to worsen.
Some months ago, I made a promise to better who I am –
To face my anxieties, fears, doubts, and depression –
And that pledge holds as I stick to the program.
You see, I’ve come too far to slip in my progression.
Now, that’s not to say that our parting of ways didn’t hurt,
Nor am I even saying that my memory of you is erased.
The last few months I have been alone and completely alert,
Trying to figure out how to not let time given go to waste.
So, with all of that stated, here is what I promise –
Not to you or anyone else – but, rather, to myself:
I will cry at times – on that I must be honest.
But those memories of us will stay on their own shelf.
Recollections of the tears and joys over the past decade,
These are things that I will revisit from time to time.
And remembering that it’s okay to be afraid –
As I start my own path, the clock signals its chime.
Every hour and minute spent in the past must stay there,
But once in awhile, I will look back and remember –
That not every moment we shared was filled with despair
Taking the lessons learned from you into the rest of my forever.
~ © Susan M.
It has been some time since I’ve written anything on my blog as I have been going through some personal life changes. As I go into this part of my life and experience those changes, I find it better to take it one day at a time. Sometimes, people separate and go their own paths.
P.S. Hope you are all well and blessings to you all. As I go through this divorce and readjusting, I’ve found music helps. The song below in particular, by Dean Martin, has been one I’ve grown rather fond of: