Looking in the silvery mirror
As if I were asking a seer –
Squinting to look clearer
Whispering, “Why am I here?”
Keeping my gaze locked on myself,
Haunted memories flood my mind…
Heartbeat quickens, overwhelmed.
Clenching my jaw, teeth grind.
Far too many reasons to quit,
Countless struggles to remember –
Lies I told myself I dare not orally admit,
Wishing the searing pain would cool to an ember.
Wiping my own tears from my eyes –
I look down from my own gaze,
“How much more can I survive?”
To still be here, I’m truly amazed.
Arching an eyebrow and clenching my fists,
Wrapping fingers around the cold porcelain basin.
There is a reason my presence still exists –
Seeking out these emotions to chasten.
Steadfast, I ask again, “Why are you here?”
The fire in my eyes shows I can cope
And it’s not time to simply disappear
As long as I cling tightly to hope.
© Susan Moore.