Why Am I Here?

Looking in the silvery mirror

As if I were asking a seer –

Squinting to look clearer

Whispering, “Why am I here?”

 

Keeping my gaze locked on myself,

Haunted memories flood my mind…

Heartbeat quickens, overwhelmed.

Clenching my jaw, teeth grind.

 

Far too many reasons to quit,

Countless struggles to remember –

Lies I told myself I dare not orally admit,

Wishing the searing pain would cool to an ember.

 

Wiping my own tears from my eyes –

I look down from my own gaze,

“How much more can I survive?”

To still be here, I’m truly amazed.

 

Arching an eyebrow and clenching my fists,

Wrapping fingers around the cold porcelain basin.

There is a reason my presence still exists –

Seeking out these emotions to chasten.

 

Steadfast, I ask again, “Why are you here?”

The fire in my eyes shows I can cope

And it’s not time to simply disappear

As long as I cling tightly to hope.

 

© Susan Moore.